Small town life has its advantages (low crime rate, walking to work, low traffic, uh... I'm sure there are others) but the biggest disadvantage for my particular small town is that we are 3 hours away from any big city. If you want to travel anywhere you have to drive 3 or 4 hours first. So, when you have to catch a flight at 7:40 in the morning, you have to leave town at 3:45 am. And, when your body has decided for the past week or so that it no longer wants to sleep when you ask it to and you don't fall asleep until 1:30 am and then wake up at 3 am, that kind of sucks!!! So, that was the start of the longest 48 hour business trip of my life!! Add to it that we had to get up at 4 am (3 my time) for a 6 am flight again to come back today and then, of course, drive another 3 hours to get home. I think I've gotten a grand total of 10 hours of sleep the past three nights. Ugh. Any BTDTs have insomnia issues in the first trimester? I just cannot get myself to sleep anymore. It's killing me. I'm absolutely exhausted but can't seem to relax. Any ideas?
OK, sorry, I just had to share that -- if this post is incoherent, please understand.
Anyway... I just got back from my trip to DC. It was a whirlwind of a trip. We walked miles everyday and I think I overdid it a bit. I think my colleagues are getting a bit suspicious about something going on, but it helps that they were both guys and probably didn't really notice that I seem to gain five inches of belly girth by the end of each day. I was so bloated from the flight and high heat that I think any woman who knows me would have known I was pregnant (or really let myself go...and quickly). We had awesome food (I think I gained 2 pounds -- I'm going to say it's all bloat...uh, sure) and interesting meetings. And, we found the coolest bookstore that is named after me! (OK, so my last name is in the title...) They had a onesie with the logo on it and I so wanted to buy it but that would have definitely been suspicious as my colleagues were standing right there.
Anyway, we went to our first OB appointment today almost as soon as I got back into town. Kind of a weird appointment because it was sort of unnecessarily. They actually made me pee in a cup so they could make sure I was pregnant!! Uh, the three blood tests and the ultrasound are probably confirmation enough... I think their normal pattern is to check in with you at 4 or 5 weeks, confirm the pregnancy and tell you some dos and don'ts. Then they have the "real" first appointment at 8-10 weeks. So, for whatever reason, they decided we still needed the initial appointment and then we're trying to schedule my actual first OB appointment in the next two weeks (because, as hard as it is to believe, I'm 8 weeks today). I was glad to have a chance to talk with the doctor anyway, though, and ask a few questions. So, not really a loss, just a little odd.
He seems like a definite "hands off" kind of guy. Which, is OK, though I think it means we'll have to push for scans and things like that. He offers them, he just doesn't push. So, at the next appointment we'll schedule the NT scan for 12-13 weeks.
So, that's it. It was a little nerve-wracking because it is virtually impossible to go to the doctor and not run into half of the town. I was really worried who would see us there and overhear the receptionist going on and on about scheduling my OB appointment. Oh, and then the doctor had a student from my college shadowing him and they wanted to let her come in. In four weeks when we've come clean with everyone? Sure. Right now? Yeah, that's how I want my job to find out I'm pregnant -- the random student runs in and says "I saw Dr. Rebecca at the OB!!!" I didn't know the student (I saw her and kept trying to avoid her) but if she's pre-med and shadowing a doctor then it's virtually certain she knows who I am -- it's a small school and I teach in the sciences. I'm a little afraid that she's figured it out anyway and it's going to get around.
So, yeah, there are some disadvantages to living in a small town, too....
OK, I'm going to take a nap. Or at least try to take a nap. I think I may have crossed over a line where you don't actually require sleep anymore.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Things are moving along
Thank you all, again, for your great comments! I really am feeling so much better about everything. It made so much difference to see the picture. For those asking for the picture... I'll manage to get it online at some point. My computer has been a pain in the neck lately (I'm on the iPad -- if I've left oddly spelled comments on your blog recently, that's why...autocorrect is a little weird on this thing sometimes...) so I'm slow at getting things like that done. I'll probably set up a separate tab for those sorts of pictures so they don't stare you in the face if you don't want to see them.
Things are going pretty good. My newest symptom is that I'm in a weird spot between starving and nauseous most of the time. I eat and then, maybe an hour and a half later, it's as if I never ate! If I don't get something to eat soon then I feel starved and start to become the low blood sugar nasty b**** my DH knows to feed quickly. I mostly don't feel nauseous, just like if I don't eat soon I will start to be nauseous. So, I keep eating lots and lots of crackers. I'm going on a business trip with a couple of colleagues Wednesday and Thursday and I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to keep myself constantly fed without arousing suspicion.
I told my mother and stepdad yesterday. My mom was so happy she was crying. It was really great. She knew something was going on because I haven't been talking to her much for the past 3 weeks or so. The last time that happened was when I was trying to figure out how to tell her about our fertility problems so, this time, she was thinking the worst. It was good to talk to her a bit about her pregnancy with me. Now she just wants to come to visit because she can't wait to see me pregnant. She sent me an email saying she and my stepdad just sat around smiling at each other all afternoon after we talked.
I've made my first official OB appointment. I don't think the nurse really knew what to do with me because they don't usually have an initial appointment with someone who has not only confirmed her pregnancy but has already had an u/s. I'll actually have my first appointment this Friday just to chat and talk about medications, etc. We'll then schedule the first "real" appointment probably for sometime in the next two weeks after that. I do have a few random questions I need to ask, so this is good. This will be very weird, I have to say.
Ok, I'd better go get something to eat...
Things are going pretty good. My newest symptom is that I'm in a weird spot between starving and nauseous most of the time. I eat and then, maybe an hour and a half later, it's as if I never ate! If I don't get something to eat soon then I feel starved and start to become the low blood sugar nasty b**** my DH knows to feed quickly. I mostly don't feel nauseous, just like if I don't eat soon I will start to be nauseous. So, I keep eating lots and lots of crackers. I'm going on a business trip with a couple of colleagues Wednesday and Thursday and I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to keep myself constantly fed without arousing suspicion.
I told my mother and stepdad yesterday. My mom was so happy she was crying. It was really great. She knew something was going on because I haven't been talking to her much for the past 3 weeks or so. The last time that happened was when I was trying to figure out how to tell her about our fertility problems so, this time, she was thinking the worst. It was good to talk to her a bit about her pregnancy with me. Now she just wants to come to visit because she can't wait to see me pregnant. She sent me an email saying she and my stepdad just sat around smiling at each other all afternoon after we talked.
I've made my first official OB appointment. I don't think the nurse really knew what to do with me because they don't usually have an initial appointment with someone who has not only confirmed her pregnancy but has already had an u/s. I'll actually have my first appointment this Friday just to chat and talk about medications, etc. We'll then schedule the first "real" appointment probably for sometime in the next two weeks after that. I do have a few random questions I need to ask, so this is good. This will be very weird, I have to say.
Ok, I'd better go get something to eat...
Thursday, May 20, 2010
We have a heartbeat!
We just saw our tiny little blob-like spider baby hanging out on its fetal pole with its yolk sack hanging down and its little fluttering heart. It was absolutely beautiful. It was amazing. I've really never seen anything like it. I couldn't believe it.
The baby is measuring at about 6w4d which is close enough to 6w6d that all is good. The heartbeat was 112 which I think is good for this early on. We are released to the OB!
And, my DH? He's seeming a lot more postive. He told me he was going from optimistically pessimistic to optimistic. LOL. Not sure what that means, but we spent the whole ride home from the RE's office letting ourselves make plans for a while.
Thank you all so much for your comments on yesterday's post and your incredible support. I think I just needed to get it all out. I'm feeling better and I think it really helps that my DH is feeling better. I think we've decided that I'm going to tell my mother this weekend (because she knew we were about to start ivf) but we won't tell my DH's parents for a while. I know that, on the small chance that anything happens, I'd tell my mother, so I'd rather she got the happy news first. I asked him if he minded that my parents know when his don't and he doesn't.
My "official" EDD is 01/07/11.
One of the craziest parts of the day? Not having to pay for the u/s because it was an OB appointment and FINALLY covered by insurance!
The baby is measuring at about 6w4d which is close enough to 6w6d that all is good. The heartbeat was 112 which I think is good for this early on. We are released to the OB!
And, my DH? He's seeming a lot more postive. He told me he was going from optimistically pessimistic to optimistic. LOL. Not sure what that means, but we spent the whole ride home from the RE's office letting ourselves make plans for a while.
Thank you all so much for your comments on yesterday's post and your incredible support. I think I just needed to get it all out. I'm feeling better and I think it really helps that my DH is feeling better. I think we've decided that I'm going to tell my mother this weekend (because she knew we were about to start ivf) but we won't tell my DH's parents for a while. I know that, on the small chance that anything happens, I'd tell my mother, so I'd rather she got the happy news first. I asked him if he minded that my parents know when his don't and he doesn't.
My "official" EDD is 01/07/11.
One of the craziest parts of the day? Not having to pay for the u/s because it was an OB appointment and FINALLY covered by insurance!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Nervously waiting
I keep trying to think of something positive to say... But, all I can think about right now is how nervous I am about my u/s appointment tomorrow afternoon. IF sucks... it's made me so uncertain and pessimistic that I can't feel confident or excited about it, but only nervous.
My DH isn't helping matters. He seems to be more pessimistic than I am. I think really he's just being cautious. He's discouraging me from telling my mother and doesn't want to tell his parents until after the first trimester. He keeps reminding me that his sister had two m/c, my cousin's wife had a m/c at 8 weeks and then lost her second after a devastating diagnosis at their 12 week u/s, one friend had a m/c at 7 weeks and another friend had a m/c at 8 weeks. (I almost think he's convinced that the losses happened because they told people.) All he's doing is making me feel like it's almost a given that this isn't going to work out. When I cried to him the other day that he was making me feel horrible, he seemed to get why I needed him to be more confident and less pessimistic, but he can't seem to let it go. (All of which is weird because I'm the pessimist in this family... he's usually the optimist.)
He told me that he'll try to feel excited after the u/s tomorrow but I don't know that he'll feel positive about it until we're well into the 2nd trimester. Right now he's just checking off the boxes: +hpt - check, first beta - check, beta finally doubled - check, heartbeat - ?, 12 week u/s - ?. I *think* after that box he'll finally accept it, but it might not be until the 20 week u/s.
At the same time he seems to not understand why I'm reluctant to buy pregnancy things. He thinks it's odd that I'm nervous about this and afraid to jinx it but he can't stop telling me that we shouldn't tell anyone "just in case." I wish he understood how much more nervous he's making me. All throughout TTC, he's been the one who kept a positive attitude about this and I need that version of my husband to come back!!
I feel idiotic for even posting this. I know the probability is that everything is ok. I just wish it was this time tomorrow and I could feel like we'd crossed over one more hurdle.
My DH isn't helping matters. He seems to be more pessimistic than I am. I think really he's just being cautious. He's discouraging me from telling my mother and doesn't want to tell his parents until after the first trimester. He keeps reminding me that his sister had two m/c, my cousin's wife had a m/c at 8 weeks and then lost her second after a devastating diagnosis at their 12 week u/s, one friend had a m/c at 7 weeks and another friend had a m/c at 8 weeks. (I almost think he's convinced that the losses happened because they told people.) All he's doing is making me feel like it's almost a given that this isn't going to work out. When I cried to him the other day that he was making me feel horrible, he seemed to get why I needed him to be more confident and less pessimistic, but he can't seem to let it go. (All of which is weird because I'm the pessimist in this family... he's usually the optimist.)
He told me that he'll try to feel excited after the u/s tomorrow but I don't know that he'll feel positive about it until we're well into the 2nd trimester. Right now he's just checking off the boxes: +hpt - check, first beta - check, beta finally doubled - check, heartbeat - ?, 12 week u/s - ?. I *think* after that box he'll finally accept it, but it might not be until the 20 week u/s.
At the same time he seems to not understand why I'm reluctant to buy pregnancy things. He thinks it's odd that I'm nervous about this and afraid to jinx it but he can't stop telling me that we shouldn't tell anyone "just in case." I wish he understood how much more nervous he's making me. All throughout TTC, he's been the one who kept a positive attitude about this and I need that version of my husband to come back!!
I feel idiotic for even posting this. I know the probability is that everything is ok. I just wish it was this time tomorrow and I could feel like we'd crossed over one more hurdle.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
I'm nauseous and loving it!!
Only an IFer would celebrate morning sickness.
I'm sure that if (when?) this gets worse I'll lament it, but, when I woke up this morning and felt really sick to my stomach for the first time I just felt so happy. I'm a little over 6w at this point and I, honestly, have been wishing for m/s to kick in! Other than painful bbs and general blobbiness, there isn't anything else to make me believe that I'm pregnant. It's funny that this really just feels like a rather long LP, which I guess it kind of is.
Our first u/s is this Thursday. Time is still crawling...
I'm sure that if (when?) this gets worse I'll lament it, but, when I woke up this morning and felt really sick to my stomach for the first time I just felt so happy. I'm a little over 6w at this point and I, honestly, have been wishing for m/s to kick in! Other than painful bbs and general blobbiness, there isn't anything else to make me believe that I'm pregnant. It's funny that this really just feels like a rather long LP, which I guess it kind of is.
Our first u/s is this Thursday. Time is still crawling...
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Stupid b*****
I was at a meeting all morning and, during a break, happened to say to the newly hired overly chatty hyper-fertile 25-year-old next to me "Phew, I'm tired." Her response within a second "what do you have to be tired for? You don't have a teething baby at home." It was all I could do to walk out of the room to the restroom to keep from slapping her. Because, obviously, the only excuse to ever be tired is kids. Not overwork (excuse me if I work about five times as hard as you at a position with much more responsibility). Not stress, not anxiety, not just a lack of flippin' sleep! Nope -- if you don't have kids then you've got no excuse.
Stupid b****.
I have a feeling this is going to get worse with her. I dread the day she finds out I'm pregnant.
Stupid b****.
I have a feeling this is going to get worse with her. I dread the day she finds out I'm pregnant.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Ho...hum...
OK, so seriously, what's a chronically obsessed IF girl to obsess over when she's in the wait for her first u/s?! Especially when work has become all grading and no interactions with "real" people. Time is crawling. I cannot believe it is only Wednesday.
Trying to think of something clever to say... I got nothing.
Let's see what's going on:
Trying to think of something clever to say... I got nothing.
Let's see what's going on:
- Still finishing grading -- briefly freaked out because I couldn't find a take home exam from one of my seniors. Turns out she forgot to turn it in. Not a good thing for her (although she's supposed to be dropping it by any moment now...), but so glad it wasn't my fault! My office is a sty at the moment, but I really didn't think that it had gotten buried somewhere.
- My intro students rocked the final exam (that is given to all sections of our intro class -- one of my colleagues told me they "spanked the other sections") -- YAY! Always makes me feel good to feel effective as a teacher!
- My body has decided that, no matter what time I go to bed, it will pop awake at 5 am. I will then sleep fitfully for an hour or two longer having anxiety dreams -- about a m/c, about my classes, about life, etc., etc. Fun.
- At about 1:30 in the afternoon or so, I get really hazy and can't focus...hence the blogging at the moment. I can't decide if this is really pregnancy related or just the fact that I'm not sleeping very well at night and have cut out caffeine completely. I just want to power through my grading so I can go home and take a nap.
- Some random cramps still -- less than before, though. I can't decide if I'm nervous that the cramping is gone or glad that the cramping is gone.
- I can no longer wear 34D bras and am starting to overflow the DDs I used in the 2ww. This doesn't bode well...
- Sometimes my bbs hurt more and sometimes less. For the BTDTs out there, how long do your bbs hurt? Does it last the whole pregnancy?
- Starting to let myself think about things in terms of "how pregnant I'll be when..."
- I miss lattes.
- So bloated.
- Still a week before our first u/s... time is moving SOOOOOOOOOOO slowly.
Monday, May 10, 2010
***teeth chattering***
You know what's wrong? Sitting in your office in May with a space heater turned on wearing two layers of long sleeved shirts, a heavy sweatshirt and a wool scarf wrapped around your head and neck with your teeth chattering and fingers turning blue. Why would this happen, you ask?
It's "boiler shut-off" week!
Every year at this time, as soon as students are finished with finals, our school shuts down the boilers on campus for two weeks for maintenance. Unfortunately, the buildings are wired so that the hot water going through the pipes is taken into account as part of the heating/cooling systems. When the hot water is off, the HVAC system seems to recognize that it is too cold, so it keeps blowing what it thinks is hot air out through the vents. Except, with the boilers off there is no hot air. So, the HVAC system keeps trying and trying and trying to make it warmer. Instead, it gets colder and colder and colder!!
Now, if it were actually warm out, this wouldn't be a huge deal. But, it's raining and cold and we're all turning into popsicles.
I think I'm going to go grade at home...
(Still haven't settled on a pen color, yet. ☺)
It's "boiler shut-off" week!
Every year at this time, as soon as students are finished with finals, our school shuts down the boilers on campus for two weeks for maintenance. Unfortunately, the buildings are wired so that the hot water going through the pipes is taken into account as part of the heating/cooling systems. When the hot water is off, the HVAC system seems to recognize that it is too cold, so it keeps blowing what it thinks is hot air out through the vents. Except, with the boilers off there is no hot air. So, the HVAC system keeps trying and trying and trying to make it warmer. Instead, it gets colder and colder and colder!!
Now, if it were actually warm out, this wouldn't be a huge deal. But, it's raining and cold and we're all turning into popsicles.
I think I'm going to go grade at home...
(Still haven't settled on a pen color, yet. ☺)
Grading is fun!
Sorry I've been a bit MIA -- finals ended and I've been grading so much I've started to bleed purple ink. (I'm all about color when grading -- I tend to only grade in red if I'm feeling annoyed at my students. For finals for my intro class it's been purple this semester. I might change to green when I switch to my advanced class. Keeps me from getting bored. Sigh...I love pens.)
We did escape for the day on Friday and went to a Dutch Festival in a small town we often pass through in Iowa. It was cold and dreary out, but nice to just wander around outside for a bit. And, admittedly, eat really unhealthy dutch pastries smothered in butter and powdered sugar. Yum. (Obviously, m/s hasn't hit at this point...)
On the way back I made my first pregnancy related purchase. I got a BeBand. I'm at a weird point where my pants fit in the morning but, by the end of the day, I've gained 4 pounds of bloat and I can't keep them snapped. I probably could have gotten away without it for a little longer but we don't have a Target in town and I was at one, so I figured I'd go for it. It felt really weird. I felt like I needed to hide it in my basket. I felt like someone was going to accuse me of jumping the gun. I felt like, by buying the thing, I was jinxing everything. (IF sucks.)
Anyway, yesterday was a little weird. I can't seem to let go of the feelings of resentment about Mother's Day that IF has given me. I was just really down all day long. I felt like I should have been so happy, but I just wasn't. When I tried to explain it to my DH he said "well, you really can't feel that way anymore now that you're pregnant." But, I can't just suddenly let go of these feelings. Especially when I'm still anxious about this pregnancy (I know I have no reason to be, but that's another thing it's hard to let go of -- anxiety). I feel sadness for myself that it took so long to get here. I feel sadness for my loss of naivete. I feel resentful for those who get pregnant so quickly. I feel guilty that I made it this far when others deserve it so much and haven't. And, I feel such sadness for all of my IF friends who are struggling so much. I don't feel like making it to 5 1/2 weeks pregnant suddenly makes me forget what I've been through and what my friends are still going through. I think I just felt sad for all of us.
OK, I'd better get back to grading. My green pen awaits. Ooh, or maybe I'll go with orange, now.
We did escape for the day on Friday and went to a Dutch Festival in a small town we often pass through in Iowa. It was cold and dreary out, but nice to just wander around outside for a bit. And, admittedly, eat really unhealthy dutch pastries smothered in butter and powdered sugar. Yum. (Obviously, m/s hasn't hit at this point...)
On the way back I made my first pregnancy related purchase. I got a BeBand. I'm at a weird point where my pants fit in the morning but, by the end of the day, I've gained 4 pounds of bloat and I can't keep them snapped. I probably could have gotten away without it for a little longer but we don't have a Target in town and I was at one, so I figured I'd go for it. It felt really weird. I felt like I needed to hide it in my basket. I felt like someone was going to accuse me of jumping the gun. I felt like, by buying the thing, I was jinxing everything. (IF sucks.)
Anyway, yesterday was a little weird. I can't seem to let go of the feelings of resentment about Mother's Day that IF has given me. I was just really down all day long. I felt like I should have been so happy, but I just wasn't. When I tried to explain it to my DH he said "well, you really can't feel that way anymore now that you're pregnant." But, I can't just suddenly let go of these feelings. Especially when I'm still anxious about this pregnancy (I know I have no reason to be, but that's another thing it's hard to let go of -- anxiety). I feel sadness for myself that it took so long to get here. I feel sadness for my loss of naivete. I feel resentful for those who get pregnant so quickly. I feel guilty that I made it this far when others deserve it so much and haven't. And, I feel such sadness for all of my IF friends who are struggling so much. I don't feel like making it to 5 1/2 weeks pregnant suddenly makes me forget what I've been through and what my friends are still going through. I think I just felt sad for all of us.
OK, I'd better get back to grading. My green pen awaits. Ooh, or maybe I'll go with orange, now.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Just because you're paranoid...
...doesn't mean that everyone isn't whispering behind your back about you being pregnant.
OK, so I know that over the past year and a half or so, many of the women and some of the men in my building have probably been involved in some conversation or another about when my DH and I are going to have kids. (Many of them to my face.) My DH and I work together, and as we've been reminded "aren't getting any younger" and many of them were at our wedding. I've dodged many questions. I've changed many a subject. I've had to bend down to get people to look at my eyes instead of staring at my stomach.
I'm sure I'm just more sensitive because I've got a secret. But, I swear in the past 5 days it's gotten worse. See, part of the problem is that the walls are really thin in between our offices. I've had to have lots of veiled, half-whispered conversations with RE receptionists and nurses over the past 10 months: "I started today and I need to schedule something..." Monday afternoon, my office neighbor (the one who, about a year ago, told an alumna to rub her child on me hoping it would "rub off") came running into my office with a big grin and asked me how I was doing. This was about five minutes after I'd gotten off the phone with the nurse to reschedule my u/s (we changed it to 6w6d). I was practically whispering on the phone and it isn't like I haven't been scheduling u/s appointments for almost a year, but I'm certain that she knows...
And of course, the fact that I am currently a giant ball of bloatedness isn't helping! I start the day with my pants fitting and, by the end of the day, I'm hanging out over the top. It's amazing, I look three months pregnant at the end of the day! I'm going to have to start wearing looser shirts. I keep getting looks. Again, I'm sure it isn't more than it was two weeks ago, but it feels worse!
Yeesh, I really need to just relax! LOL it never goes away, does it?
OK, so I know that over the past year and a half or so, many of the women and some of the men in my building have probably been involved in some conversation or another about when my DH and I are going to have kids. (Many of them to my face.) My DH and I work together, and as we've been reminded "aren't getting any younger" and many of them were at our wedding. I've dodged many questions. I've changed many a subject. I've had to bend down to get people to look at my eyes instead of staring at my stomach.
I'm sure I'm just more sensitive because I've got a secret. But, I swear in the past 5 days it's gotten worse. See, part of the problem is that the walls are really thin in between our offices. I've had to have lots of veiled, half-whispered conversations with RE receptionists and nurses over the past 10 months: "I started today and I need to schedule something..." Monday afternoon, my office neighbor (the one who, about a year ago, told an alumna to rub her child on me hoping it would "rub off") came running into my office with a big grin and asked me how I was doing. This was about five minutes after I'd gotten off the phone with the nurse to reschedule my u/s (we changed it to 6w6d). I was practically whispering on the phone and it isn't like I haven't been scheduling u/s appointments for almost a year, but I'm certain that she knows...
And of course, the fact that I am currently a giant ball of bloatedness isn't helping! I start the day with my pants fitting and, by the end of the day, I'm hanging out over the top. It's amazing, I look three months pregnant at the end of the day! I'm going to have to start wearing looser shirts. I keep getting looks. Again, I'm sure it isn't more than it was two weeks ago, but it feels worse!
Yeesh, I really need to just relax! LOL it never goes away, does it?
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Thank you Secret Supporter!! :)
To my wonderful Secret Supporter Arlyne -- THANK YOU!! ☺ I LOVE the gift!!
If my camera were working at the moment I would have posted a picture, but I'll describe instead... baby blanket knitting book and needles and baby yarn! How absolutely perfect! I mean, seriously, how perfect?! There is really nothing I love knitting more than baby blankets and the thought that I get to knit for my own baby just has me all choked up. Thank you so much!!
I have it on good authority from your Secret Supporter (whoever she may be...) that your gift is leaving town today... I SWEAR!! I'm so sorry it's taken... uh...her... so long to get it out. *hangs head in shame*
If my camera were working at the moment I would have posted a picture, but I'll describe instead... baby blanket knitting book and needles and baby yarn! How absolutely perfect! I mean, seriously, how perfect?! There is really nothing I love knitting more than baby blankets and the thought that I get to knit for my own baby just has me all choked up. Thank you so much!!
I have it on good authority from your Secret Supporter (whoever she may be...) that your gift is leaving town today... I SWEAR!! I'm so sorry it's taken... uh...her... so long to get it out. *hangs head in shame*
Monday, May 3, 2010
Beta #3 -- It's all good!! ☺
So, here are the final beta results:
Beta #1 -- 13 DPO -- 52.8
Beta #2 -- 15 DPO -- 86.2
Beta #3 -- 17 DPO -- 221
YAY for 221!!! :) That gives a doubling time of 36 hours (Thanks Mel for that website...)! So, we've swung from one side of the curve to the other and I couldn't be happier!!!
Thanks so much to all for your comments and your doubling vibes! I swear I wasn't meaning to be obsessed about the beta level before. I guess my "numbers" mind just couldn't not look obsessed.
I took my temperature for one last time today. After all these months of temping, I couldn't stop because I was just so amazed to see how it really did look triphasic and stayed high! I'm going to stop, though. Really, I can stop any time I want to. I'm not addicted. Nope.
I have an u/s scheduled for May 17th. I think that will be 6w3d. I'm hoping that's not too soon to see the hb.
I think I may actually be beginning to believe that I'm pregnant. Holy cow.
Beta #1 -- 13 DPO -- 52.8
Beta #2 -- 15 DPO -- 86.2
Beta #3 -- 17 DPO -- 221
YAY for 221!!! :) That gives a doubling time of 36 hours (Thanks Mel for that website...)! So, we've swung from one side of the curve to the other and I couldn't be happier!!!
Thanks so much to all for your comments and your doubling vibes! I swear I wasn't meaning to be obsessed about the beta level before. I guess my "numbers" mind just couldn't not look obsessed.
I took my temperature for one last time today. After all these months of temping, I couldn't stop because I was just so amazed to see how it really did look triphasic and stayed high! I'm going to stop, though. Really, I can stop any time I want to. I'm not addicted. Nope.
I have an u/s scheduled for May 17th. I think that will be 6w3d. I'm hoping that's not too soon to see the hb.
I think I may actually be beginning to believe that I'm pregnant. Holy cow.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Beta #2 -- we're a little bit in limbo...
It's not bad...it's just right on the borderline.
Here are the numbers:
Beta #1 -- 13 DPO -- 52.8
Beta #2 -- 15 DPO -- 86.2
(At least, I think it was 86.2, it might have been 82.6, I was driving and a little distracted. I'm going to think positively and say it was 86.2)
So, the nurse and doctor are being cautious because the doubling time, if you consider it 48 hours different, is 75 hours which is a little slow. But, it was actually only 42 hours different, so then the doubling time is 66 hours which is OK.
(Yes, I made a plot and derived an equation to adjust the hours. The ones on-line would only let me do it in days not hours... My specialty is quantitative measurement of chemical concentrations and it really bothers me when numbers aren't controlled exactly. I would never make a measurement that way... Hello, my name is Rebecca and I'm a geek.)
So, it's not bad, it's OK, it's probably not as "only OK" as it sounds, but it's not stellar. So, we won't really know anything until I go back, now, on Monday morning for beta #3.
Meanwhile, I'm really OK with it. Just please send me lots and lots of doubling vibes.
(And, yes, this time I'm making sure that I actually go back in 48 hours...)
On a completely unrelated, but incredibly sad, note. A student at my school drowned last night during an end-of-the-semester celebration. It's absolutely heartbreaking. He was only 19.
Here are the numbers:
Beta #1 -- 13 DPO -- 52.8
Beta #2 -- 15 DPO -- 86.2
(At least, I think it was 86.2, it might have been 82.6, I was driving and a little distracted. I'm going to think positively and say it was 86.2)
So, the nurse and doctor are being cautious because the doubling time, if you consider it 48 hours different, is 75 hours which is a little slow. But, it was actually only 42 hours different, so then the doubling time is 66 hours which is OK.
(Yes, I made a plot and derived an equation to adjust the hours. The ones on-line would only let me do it in days not hours... My specialty is quantitative measurement of chemical concentrations and it really bothers me when numbers aren't controlled exactly. I would never make a measurement that way... Hello, my name is Rebecca and I'm a geek.)
So, it's not bad, it's OK, it's probably not as "only OK" as it sounds, but it's not stellar. So, we won't really know anything until I go back, now, on Monday morning for beta #3.
Meanwhile, I'm really OK with it. Just please send me lots and lots of doubling vibes.
(And, yes, this time I'm making sure that I actually go back in 48 hours...)
On a completely unrelated, but incredibly sad, note. A student at my school drowned last night during an end-of-the-semester celebration. It's absolutely heartbreaking. He was only 19.
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