- Drink. Um, is it a problem that this is essentially the first thing that came to mind? I mean, it's not like I'm a drunk or anything. Pre-TTC I maybe had one drink a week. And, it's not like I haven't indulged when AF is here since we've been TTC. But, somehow knowing that it doesn't make a damn bit of difference if I have a glass of wine makes me want to go out and get one. Right now. OK, maybe not right now. I mean, it's 8:15 in the morning (or it was when I started this post...). But you better believe I'll be imbibing at Happy Hour tonight!
- Consume mass quantities (of caffeine). (I was watching an old SNL Coneheads sketch last night...) Guilt free!! Yes, getting totally addicted to coffee again in the next two months isn't a great plan. But, I don't care!! A caffeinated Rebecca is a much perkier (ha!), happier, focused Rebecca. I miss her.
- Indulge in the hot tub. Can't wait until our next trip to a hotel with a hot tub. I'm indulging and my DH will be so happy that he can, too. He knows he'd feel my wrath if he boiled the boys right before a treatment cycle. This first month, I'll let him indulge. After that? Keep 'em on ice, baby. Of course, he did sit in the hot tub for a short time about a week before an IUI once and his count/motility/etc. were unchanged. (He is, after all, supersperm-man.) But, that's not a risk I'm willing to take all the time!
- Sign off of FF. OMG that was tough. I've put my account on hold. I felt like an addict flipping through old charts really quickly before signing out. I'm not sure what I was looking for but I felt like I needed to see it all again one last time. Yeah, my obsessive personality can be a problem sometimes.
- Put the thermometer away. Well, after taking my BBT one last time. I was curious this morning to see if taking my first BCP yesterday would provide enough progesterone for my BBT to go up as if I'd ovulated. It did. Kind of cool. Of course, my body is all kinds of confused right now as it was gearing up to ovulate and now it just doesn't know what to think. I've never started BCP mid-cycle before like this but that's what Dr. Smiles said to do. (He knew I was about to O and was desperately afraid I'd get pregnant -- seriously? I guess it's a good thing that he thinks that way, I'm too jaded. Not to mention that the thought of sex while healing from a lap is not even vaguely appealing.) I don't know what I'm going to do for two months without taking my temperature every morning. I need a replacement.
- Discover a new hobby. OK, so it's not like I was denied this before, but I need to find something new to obsess about. My plan for the moment is to obsess over cooking -- obviously not for a few weeks until I have a kitchen and can eat something other than takeout and frozen dinners. But, what a perfect opportunity, right? Brand new kitchen, brand new need for an obsession! I can't wait.
- Exercise. It's not like I haven't been allowed to exercise since we've been TTC, I just haven't really been doing it lately. I've got to get over this hump. This is a good opportunity to transfer my obsession to a new hobby. (This feels suspiciously like a resolution, though, and I suck at keeping those. So, I'm not sure how much I'll be able to get my lazy ass off of the sofa but I'm aiming at little steps here.)
- Throw myself into work. My lack of pregnancy has sucked the life out of me at work for two years. My DH and I had a really deep 1+ hour conversation about this the other day. An amazing conversation. The kind we don't have very often (my DH is not really a "sharer.") I want to write more about this in another post because it was incredibly meaningful. I need to be enthusiastic about work again. So, that's what I'm going to do. This will be a tough rut to get out of, but here goes nothing.
- Thrive on irony. Taking BCP when TTC? Too funny! Taking BCP and pre-natal vitamins together every morning? Hilarious! Being the infertile girl having protected sex? ROFLMAO!
- Reinvent my sex life. Enough said.
Friday, January 14, 2011
The Two Month Wait
While waiting is sure to make me crazy, I admit that I do feel a small sense of relief that we are banned from trying for the next two months. I mean, after nearly 2 1/2 years of focusing on pregnancy every single day, it's nice to think that I really can't for the next 56 days. (Not that I'm counting or anything...) It's only day two, though, so I'm trying to think of all the things I can do for the next two months that I've been denied or ignoring for the past two years.
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Excellent list. It sounds like you're going to be pretty occupied in those 56 days. I think you're going to find it very enjoyable, and stress free, which is why it'll go by in no time.
ReplyDeleteHave fun with that list thing on your list. :D
All I can say is that I love your post and your "list" is encouraging...
ReplyDeleteWishing you bountiful grace~
Waiting sucks, but look at it like this will be the start to the greatest new chapter in your life! I am excited for a new plan getting in motion for you!
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean. I've had a lot of enforced breaks over the past few years and whilst it is frustrating there is also a sense of knowing that you can't get pregnant so you can do what you want. Overindulge and enjoy. Then in 2 months - get back on that wagon.
ReplyDeleteYou go girl! Enjoy your time off from all the madness! I took nearly a year off and it was the best thing I ever did! When you come back to it....you'll feel refreshed and ready to get back in the saddle!
ReplyDeleteWish I could join in on the fun for numbers 1, 2 and 3 although maybe I wouldn't be welcome in the hot tub with you and hubs? Which would be rude seeing as I traveled all the way to ruralish Missouri or somewhere to do it but still...
ReplyDeleteHave fun with your list! I highly recommend any and all recipes with chocolate in your new kitchen. I'll help you eat them.
Sounds like a great list! Maybe start out by buying a couple of new cookbooks and planning out how you want to break in your new kitchen until you can get to the actual cooking.... Hope your 8ww flies by for you!
ReplyDeleteI know this isn't the track that you wanted to be on, but I'm glad that you're embracing this time off. I really found the time that I had off positively liberating. I did all those things that you listed and, um, well...you could add some things in different realms of your life with your spouse that perhaps you didn't before? :)
ReplyDeletewow..that's a list. and i like that drinking is number one! it's so unfair that ttc takes all the fun out of life -- drinking, coffee, exercise, sex, work..i mean really, what's left?
ReplyDeletei think it's great that you're thinking about all the things that you can do. when we were told to stop ttc and it ended up being three months i was amazed how i actually turned back into a normal (relatively speaking of course) person. i didn't care about babies and pregnant woman because it didn't matter for that time. you'll get through it and you'll come out feeling more refreshed than ever.
and the cooking part sounds excellent -- you'll have to post some pictures of your masterpieces!
I have a feeling these next 56 days are going to be really great for you!!!! :)
ReplyDeleteI admire you for making the most out of your break! I tried to do the same when I was on a break and it really helped the time to go by faster. I look forward to hearing about your adventures over these two months....
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful list - I love this! Definitely enjoy these two months - it will be good for your head, too - getting out of TTC land is always refreshing.
ReplyDeleteThe forced two month break was a relief for me too for most of the same reasons you mentioned. Have fun letting yourself refocus on other areasof your life for a while =)
ReplyDeleteI like that you've made this list. And I hear ya; we have to wait until March too. Boo. But hey, girl, we're in this together. We'll make it. Enjoy the time off.
ReplyDeleteI love the list too! I hope the time flies by and that you're feeling like a million bucks when it comes time to move into the more active phase.
ReplyDeleteBest list ever! I really like the things you're choosing to focus on, especially the last one. Between the exercise and the focus on work, I bet you're going to be fare pretty well during this enforced break from babymaking. I'm rolling my eyes at the BCPs - even though I think they're necessary now that you may well be fully fertile all of a sudden - because it's still absurdly ironic. I hope the early days of these new goals are going well. <3
ReplyDeleteGreat list! I'm looking forward to the work post because I'm having the exact same problem. I hate feeling unmotivated at work :( The NYT published a '10 best cookbooks of 2010' list just before Xmas if you are looking for inspiration. Enjoy!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the coffee!! I think that's a great list. It must seem really weird to be taking BCPs. I like Dr. Smiles' confidence!
ReplyDeleteLove the list! I may make one just so I feel like I'm on a break. Thanks for the inspiration!
ReplyDeleteMy "resting" time of 3 months was exactly what I needed physically & emotionally. I did acupuncture & started DHEA, but other than that, I did not count days, check O, pee on any sticks, & it was the most liberating feeling in the world! I really think my body needed the break & it brought fantastic results when we did resume treatments. I hope it does the same for you, sweetie! enjoy every stress free moment! :)
ReplyDeleteI LOVE the list :) The irony part? When we started IVF and was on BCP, I was so amused by the suppression thing. Really? BCP? LMAO.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the break and the mental vacation :)