The hubby's metaphor

The following was inspired by my husband's metaphor for the infertility treatment process.  (Please note in advance that I don't really think that having or adopting a baby is like buying a car!!!)

Good morning and welcome to the car lot! We've got a lot of cars for you to choose from.

And, the best thing?  They're all free!

You might have to turn the key a few times to get them going.  There's about a 20% chance that it will work each time you turn the ignition. Don't get discouraged if it takes a few minutes to get it started.

Well, at least that's true for about 90% of the cars on our lot.

What?  You've been turning the key for an hour and yours doesn't work?  Well, we can try replacing the starter.  It'll cost you about $200. I have no idea if that's what's wrong but, why not?  It's a good first guess.

That didn't work?  Well, let's just try it again. Here's another starter.

Still no luck?  Let's try a starter one more time.

Huh.  Well, OK.  So, the starter didn't work.  Let's try flushing the fluids and see if something is stopping it up.  That'll cost you about $1000.

Well, everything looks OK.  But, you know, some people say that just pushing fluid through the engine will give you better results.  Try cranking it again a few more times.

Wow.  That's odd.  I wish I knew what's wrong. Sometimes these things are just unexplained.  Let's just try replacing the engine cooling system.  It works about 20% of the time.  I'm sure that's all you need.  It'll be about $2000.

Well, I guess that wasn't the right cooling system.  Let's try it again. If we tweak it a bit, I'm sure it will work.

Really?  Still, it isn't working? 

OK, I know what will do it.  Let's replace the entire engine. There's about a 40% chance that it will help.  It'll only cost you $15,000. 

You know, it's starting to get dark.  We don't have a lot of time.  If you want this car you're going to have to make some decisions quickly.  I wish you'd gotten here earlier in the day.  The cars are much more likely to work earlier in the day.

Still no luck?  Well, I guess it won't hurt to try it again. Maybe this time you'll get two cars to start at once!

It didn't work?  I *know* this will work for you.  I guess you just haven't been lucky.  I'm *sure* just one more engine replacement will do it.

Still?

Hey, look, some of your friends are back for their second car today.  It's amazing, they got it to start on the first try again! Aren't you happy for them? 

Hey your car started!!!  Wow, this is awesome!  Go on, take it off the lot and enjoy.  Make sure to send us pictures when you get it home.  What?  It stopped running as soon as you got off the lot?  I'm so sorry.  I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

Man, I wish I knew why this car wasn't working.  I know how much you want this.

Well, you know, there's another lot up the street.  Their cars are free, too, but you've got to pay about $20,000 to the agent.  Lawyers are involved and a lot of notarized documents and they'll check you out to make sure you'll take good care of your car.  They can guarantee that their cars will work, though.  You could try for an import; some people say it's easier.   But, there's a chance that you'll lose the car to someone else.  And, there's a really long waiting list for their cars and it might take a while.  And, there will be some struggles along the way.  But, I know that if you get one of those cars you'll absolutely love it and it will be yours forever.  It's worth the cost and the wait and the stress.  It really is.

Or, we could keep trying here. Just one more time, huh?  I'm *sure* this engine is the right one.  You won't believe how much you're going to love this car once we get it going.  Here's some pictures of my cars.  Aren't they beautiful?

No luck?

Well, maybe if you just relax.  I'm sure if you stop trying to crank the engine it will just start on its own. I have a friend whose car started as soon as she walked off the lot and started the paperwork at the lot up the street.  It happens all the time!

Just one more try?  It's *got* to work this time.