Graduation

I cried.

We watched our two beautiful babies wiggle their tiny little arms and legs around and I cried.  Baby A flailed everything.  I never imagined they'd be moving so much already at 10 weeks.  Baby B waved one arm.  Then, as if telling us it was time to leave them alone, Baby B suddenly flipped onto his/her side.  We all gasped.  I cursed myself for being so fascinated that I forgot I wanted to film the screen.

My tiny giant-alien-headed teddy bear babies.  Hearts beating and limbs flailing.  Perfect size.  Beautiful.

Dr. Smiles hugged me tight and gave me a kiss on the cheek.  He hugged the nurse as she got the perfect images.  He told us how much he enjoyed working with us.  We talked about how to find a good OB.  The nurse is working to help us find the perfect one.  She said with a smile "now, you're going to have to start to accept that you're pregnant with twins."  Dr. Smiles said "well, in a couple of years come back and we'll thaw the one on ice for a little sibling."

We waved "hi" and thank you to the embryologist.  I wanted to run over and squeeze her.  The woman who helped form my children.  Their first "babysitter."  The woman we trusted to nurture them for the five days that I couldn't.

Tears were in my eyes as I thanked them all from the bottom of my heart.  How can you thank them enough?

The nurse handed me a bag and said "you get new mommy treat bags, now.  No more med bags."

We left and I felt sad that I had missed the nurse who knew I was pregnant before I even POAS.  The nurse I first met nearly a year ago when she was checking my laparascopy scars and told me that the one on the right was healing the best because that was the one she was in control of during surgery.  The one who hugged me when IUIs failed.  As we waited for the elevator, she came running out of the office "How could you leave without saying goodbye?!"  We hugged each other tight and I cried.  I thanked her again and again.  She told me how happy she was for us and I knew she meant it.  She thanked us for persevering.  She told us "bring those babies by to meet us."

How can I leave these people?

My babies are safe.  They are beautiful.  They are loved.

I can't stop crying.