Lots more blood today. Like a heavy period. I'm on nurse ordered bed rest until we go down for another emergency scan tomorrow afternoon. Apparently that's what I do on Fridays, now.
The reason we're waiting until the afternoon is that I've had to (figuratively -- it's all from the sofa) run around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to arrange for coverage for all the things I have scheduled tomorrow. First I had to leave lab an hour early today and desperately beg a fellow faculty member to watch my students for the last hour. Then, I'm giving an exam in the morning (which isn't quite written, yet) that my DH is going to photocopy tonight (if I ever finish it -- my focus is a bit off) and then proctor for me.
The worst part is that two of my colleagues are off campus tomorrow and, in return of favors they've done for me during all this IVF stuff, I was going to cover THEIR classes. So, my DH is covering an exam for one of them that is immediately after mine. Then, the poor man has to run to give his own lecture. Then we're leaving immediately after that to drive the 90 miles to my scan -- I wish I had a damned doctor here that I could go to but I haven't found a new OB, yet. So, the afternoon quiz/lecture I was supposed to cover is now having to be covered by someone else -- not sure who, yet, but my dean has said he'll find someone (he's aware of what's going on). And, of course, just the quiz part -- the lecture part will just have to slide.
Not to mention the three or four other things I had to cancel or rearrange.
I hate this. I hate asking for favors. I hate having to tell people, yet again, "something has come up and I can't do 'x'" I hate this so much. I realize, in the grand scheme of things, this is no big deal and it just has to happen. But, it is just against my personality to ask for help and it's against my nature to share what's going on. It's just hard. And, I think focusing on the re-scheduling helps me ignore what's going on inside me.
Now that I've taken care of most of it all (got to get this exam off my head) I'm just trying to meditate and relax. Trying to think positive thoughts.
But, of course, I'm terrified again. This is a lot of blood. A lot. I know it could all still be OK. But, each time I reconcile one thing, the bleeding gets worse -- just red spotting? OK, that's no big deal. Medium bleeding? That's OK, things are still fine. Full pads worth of blood? That's getting hard to ignore.
Little ticks, I love you very much. Please be OK.
I am so sorry and am thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteHoping and praying that the blood isn't anything to worry about! Please try not to feel bad about asking for help, sometimes a girl needs help! Keep the positive thoughts going!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry about the blood. I am pulling for you and sending you good luck for your scan tomorrow. It sucks to have to ask for favors, I know, but try not to feel guilty about it.
ReplyDeleteHoping and praying that everything is okay, *hugs*
ReplyDeleteOh Rebecca, I just want to come over and give you a great big hug. This sucks- even if it turns out okay- (which I sincerely hope it will!)it still sucks. All I can do is send big fat big huge hugs and positivity in your direction.
ReplyDeleteRebecca -
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I are both professors. If we were closer we would be happy to cover for you. If any of our colleagues were going through what you were going through, we would be happy to cover for them. It's okay - most people are really fundamentally good, and want to help others.
Rebecca--I'm so sorry you are going through this. Could you not just go to the ER tonight and get an emergency ultrasound done? I would think they would do that for bleeding and a twin pregnancy! Thinking of you and hoping you get great news whenver you get that u/s.
ReplyDeleteI know it's easy to feel like a burden when your not used to asking for help, but really other people are there and want to be there. Those things will work out and pass. I'm hoping for the best. It sounds scary and I wish you didn't have to worry. Sending love.
ReplyDeleteGood lord! What an awful situation! I so dearly hope this becomes a war story that you'll shake your head over in a few months when the ticks are all big and ready to go.
ReplyDeleteI am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteI'm keeping you in my prayers that this bleeding is not serious.
ReplyDeleteHope everything is okay! I wish this bleeding stuff would just be done for you. You deserve a stress free pregnancy after everything you've been through. ((Hugs))
ReplyDeletei hope everything's ok! you'll be in my thoughts and prayers!
ReplyDeletePraying for you and little ticks tonight. I hope it is nothing serious and these bleeding issues resolve ASAP!
ReplyDeleteOh, honey, I so hope everything's okay for you and the ticks. C'mon, little dudes, hang in there! It must be terribly difficult to feel like you're imposing on people without being able to tell them why. Ugh. But please rest assured that it's utterly justified. I know you know this. And more than anything, assured or not, just REST. Saying a prayer for you. xoxo
ReplyDeleteoh gorgeous I am sending lots of lovely vibes. I know we hate hearing all of those people that know someone but remember Ants? She bled nearly till 13 weeks and every time she would scan there would be pepelina waving away at her. For some reason IVF seems to promote more bleeding. I have everything crossed and don't worry about the imposing you have spent years waiting for this. It is time to think only of you and the babies now. xxxxx
ReplyDeletethinking of you and your little ticks and hoping and praying that everything is okay. try not to worry about work (i know that's easier said than done) but at the end of the day your health and the health of your family is more important. rest up and i look forward to hearing that everything is okay. *big hugs*
ReplyDeleteHow scary! I'm thinking of you today and wishing to see nothing but good news next.
ReplyDeleteI think you need to be on full on bed rest from now on. I hope it's possible for you to take a medical time out until you finally give birth.
ReplyDeleteIn any case:{{{HUGS}}}
Thinking of you.
ReplyDeletewish I was closer so I could help! little ticks stay stuck! thinking about you always
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, haven't you dealt with enough already? HOping and hoping and hoping that you get good news today, an explanation about what's going on, and that it STOPS. xoxox
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers are with you sweetie. Keep us posted!
ReplyDeleteSending thoughts, prayers, and hugs!!!
ReplyDeletexx
You and your babies are in my thoughts. Sending you many hugs today.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and your ticks with all my heart... you and your family are the most important - others will understand and I'm sure there have been plenty of times that you've helped them out in the past. I know how you feel... but be gentle on yourself. FXd for your scan tomorrow... love always xoxo
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking of you today. I hope your scan went well. Lots of hugs!
ReplyDeleteoh my, I hope that everything is okay. Don't worry about needing help, it happens. Thinking of you & I will be looking for your good news.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about you all day and hoping all is well. And don't ever worry about asking for help-- that is what friends and colleagues And family are for.
ReplyDelete