The following venting is brought to you by hormones.
-- OK, 37 week pregnant NICU nurse. Please think just a bit before you start COMPLAINING for 15 minutes about being 37 weeks pregnant when you are surrounded by itty bitty preemie babies and their mothers. Do you not realize that every single one of us would give absolutely anything to still be pregnant?? Don't complain that you're just "so huge." Don't start yelling "I'm TERM baby!" Don't start listing all the ways you're trying to get labor started when all of us are thinking of the little things we did leading up to the birth of our children that might have gotten labor started too soon. It's hard enough for us all to look at your belly and not think about what ours would have looked like if we were still pregnant without having to hear you not only gloat about it but complain. Even my husband thought it was ridiculous and said loudly to her "term? That's a thing? Huh, didn't know anyone got there." Didn't phase her.
-- OK, really good friend. It already hurts me enough that you got to spend more time with my children during their first 24 hours of life than I did when you drove my DH to the hospital the day they were born and I was stuck in another hospital bed. I appreciate what you did for him since he was too tired to safely drive himself, and I appreciate your husband taking pictures for me since my DH doesn't have a decent camera. BUT, it still hurts to think about that missing time. So, if you could please not refer to my children as looking like "alien babies" I'd really appreciate it. Yes, they have a bit of a preemie "look" and, yes, they are disproportionately sized because they are still skinny and long. But, I'm already feeling bad about that and don't really need it pointed out. Thanks. They are my CHILDREN and they are beautiful.
Thank you and we now return to your regularly scheduled programming.
Happy 33 weeks, my beautiful little ones.
And, rest in peace Maurice Sendak. Thank you for writing and illustrating my all time favorite children's books. I have been looking forward to reading them to my children forever. I've had Carol King singing "Eating Chicken Soup with Rice" in my head all morning and I want to go to the Night Kitchen and Where the Wild Things Are. Because I'm really Rosie and I'm Rosie Real. You shaped my childhood and will be greatly missed.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWas having some computer issues. All seem to be fixed now...
DeleteI just wanted to say that some people can be so insensitive and dumb. A nurse that works in NICU should know better than to complain about being big and pregnant and using the word "term". Sounds to me a bit like she might be bragging, not just being insensitive.
As for your friend, that definitely was inappropriate and wrong. I never...
Hi, I've been lurking for a while (am pregnant with twins now) but just want to say how impressed I am but how well you have been handling all this. I want to personally call up that NICU nurse--and your friend--and SCREAM at them both. As others have said, you are not over-reacting; it's totally justified. Anyway, hang in there. I think you're right that this is just a blip, and I thank you for sharing your experiences and giving people like me strength to face the unknown. The boys are beautiful, by the way. I can't wait to see them get even bigger!
DeleteI think sometimes people let things out of their mouths before evening thinking or considering how another person will feel about it. Your babies are really beautiful, healthy and are here and shows what little miracles they are!
ReplyDeleteLet all of your frustrations out so you can feel better.
First of all your boys are absolutely gorgeous. No doubt about it!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I am a PICU Nurse. Someone needs to speak to the NICU nurse manager about the nurse who is being completely inappropriate. She needs to be educated in her practice. What we say as nurses can have profound impact on families and her complete lack of empathy is alarming.
I am sure you will find nurses in he NICU who do their job appropriately and will care for your boys as if they are their own.
Best wishes for a speedy road home!
Your babies are fabulous and wonderful, strong boys! Venting is a great cathartic thing to do so go for it.
ReplyDeleteIf I could I'd come there and give that nurse a talking to. Don't think I wouldn't. She's dumb. I wont insult your good friend but I'd definitely find a way to fix her oversights as well. This is the frustrating part of being imaginary friends. I can't come regulate. Damn.
ReplyDeleteKeep venting lady!!! That's not even hormonally related that's just normal venting!
I've been a lurker for a little while but wanted to finally comment just to tell you that I agree with the previous comment. It's not a hormone related vent at all, it's a completely normal and justified vent that you needed to get out.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry the NICU nurse was being so inappropriate. I would talk to whomever is in charge and let them know that she's making those comments. So incredibly hurtful.
And your sons are absolutely beautiful :)
Rant heard and acknowledged. Plus I agree with you completely on all points!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe that nurse - completely unacceptable! And that sucks that your friend can't be a bit more tactful. Your boys are beautiful!!!
ReplyDeleteVent away - there's a lot going on in your life - you deserve a place to vent!
Dear Rebecca, I am sorry you have to deal with that nurse. How could someone be so inconsiderate at the NICU? I just can't comprehend. As for your friend's comments - she is plain rude. She should know what a fragile state you all are in right now. I have no excuses for her.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you can vent on here, I know that helps a bit.
***
I was gonna comment on your last post. The boys are GORGEOUS!!!:) ooooh, my :) They are handsome and I love their beautiful hair. The onsie picture made me tear up a bit. Because I remember, that those first 'real' baby clothes had started to make me realize that this is for REAL! I am thinking of you all the time.
You both are doing an amazing job. And the Boys are progressing so amazingly well! you will be home before you know it!;)
Ugh, I am shocked by that nurse! I can't even imagine.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about your friend. I can't imagine someone saying that. For what it's worth, I think your boys are perfect and adorable!
OMG I think I would have slapped her - how inconsiderate! Yes, it's hard, yes she's probably tired, but look at where you are and who is around you before you say stupid things! I'd definitely have a word with the head nurse! I'm sure she never even thought before she made those comments, but she couldn't have found a more inappropriate place to have said them.
ReplyDeleteAs to the "alien babies" comment - I would have snapped at that too - your boys are gorgeous! How dare she!
I will be outraged for you - love and hugs x
Grrrrr!
ReplyDeleteWhat is the problem with people? How damn insensitive. The majority of this world has zero common sense. I'm sorry you even had to hear that from your friend and the nurse. I would have said something to the nurse too.
ReplyDeleteSay wha!?!?!?! That nurse needs to be removed from the NICU. WTF. I would think she of all people should be aware that that is a fucked up thing to say!
ReplyDeletei agree with a pp about speaking to the nurse manager and perhaps they could quietly remind that nurse of the sensitive area in which she works.
ReplyDeletei think they all forget -- we had a very abrupt nurse when i was in hospital which ended with me in tears & my hubby pushing up his sleeves for a fight...i ended up writing to them they need to remind these nurses (esp the night shift staff) that they are dealing with a lot of first time parents and people with fluctuating hormones.
That nurse is unbelievable! She works in NICU!! Shouldn't she be trained in how to act in these circumstances? I truly hope you write a complaint, because that's horrible of her.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you have to put up with so many insensitive assholes. Your babies are beautiful and getting stronger every day.
Hi, I'm so late to the party but CONGRATULATIONS! Your boys are beautiful and I cried with joy that they're here. I'm so, so happy for you guys.
ReplyDeleteI want to punch both the nurse and your friend for being such jerks. But it fits well with my husband's and my theory that you get more exposure to the worse NICU nurses the better your baby is doing, so clearly this is a good sign for the little guys : )
I can't imagine how hard this is for you, and I wish I was there to give you a hug and a pep talk. We only spent 3 days in the NICU but I have such a strong image of your little family there. I look at the pictures you've posted and it makes me think about all the things they'll do in their lives. I had this moment in the first several days of my son's life thinking about how somewhere out there is the person he's going to marry. Already it's bashert, and someday he's going to grow up and find them. And it was totally overwhelming to think he was brand new but he had this whole amazing future ahead of him. I think the same thing when I look at your sons. They're amazing! I love the pictures and stories. You're incredible and they're so lucky to have you guys. Hang in there. It's going to get more and more amazing. <3 If there's anything that those of us far away out here in blogland can do, please let me know.
Your venting is warranted, wtf, nurse? How clueless of her!
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, your boys are beautiful, what is your friend thinking?
Seriously?!?! Both the nurse and your BF need a slap. Sorry hon {{{HUGS}}} I love hearing the mama bear in you =) Of course your children are adorable!
ReplyDeleteI would let the nurse's manager know that she is making inappropriate comments. I can't imagine why your friend would say that about your babies - they are gorgeous and even if they weren't, who says something like that?
ReplyDeleteOuch... those comments would really hurt. Veeerry insensitive of the NICU nurse... I would tell her manager too. You and all the other families are going through so much.. you don't need to hear those sort of gloats :( Love to you and your twins xoxo
ReplyDeleteRebecca, I love you... but this isn't hormones. This is other people being complete douche bags.
ReplyDeleteFor bitch #1: You need to complain to a supervisor. Stat. That's completely insensitive and unprofessional. How do you resist punching her in the face.
For bitch #2: Please send me her phone number so I can tell her off for her completely RUDE comments. How would she like it if someone called her kids alien babies?!
Big (((hugs)))... you DON'T need this kind of crap right now. Let me know if I need to come up there and kick some ass!