Well, she's not THAT bad

So, after reading my last post you might think that my MIL is an absolutely horrible person.  She's really not  bad.  Yes, my SIL does seem to play interference for us with her a lot.  Yes, she does keep sending us baby things -- but she's slowed down since she found out we were having problems.  Yes, she did push the baby stuff from my SIL on my DH -- but I definitely read more into it because it was so stressful to me.  She's not entirely insensitive.  And, yes, she really did say that to my DH (about waiting until you're 40) -- but....OK, I've got nothing for that one. 

As to having her store things for us -- it would be great except my SIL lives one state away from us and my MIL lives three states away.  And, apparently my MIL is trying to downsize (which is why she keeps sending us baby stuff she's been buying in anticipation of her children procreating for about 10-15 years now).  Not sure what we're going to do about the stuff.  I think my DH realized how upset it made me to think about it. He's a very practical guy, so I know he would like to take it.  He assumes we will eventually get pregnant.  He basically says "we keep trying until it happens" and doesn't stress about this at all.  All I can do every day is focus on how long this is taking, how I feel like it will never happen, how everyone I know is passing me by, etc., etc.  He generally just asks a few times "so, when will we know if it worked?"  And, when it doesn't, he hugs me and says "so, what is the likely schedule for next cycle?"  He's incredibly supportive of how I'm feeling, is there whenever I need to cry and need a hug and seems to be willing to do whatever we need to do to get pregnant, but I feel like he's just along for the ride.  I'm sure that's true of a lot of men.  And, actually, I know some men are not supportive about IF at all.  I know that I'm really lucky.

It's a good thing that he is so level headed, calm and positive about this.  It helps me hold onto hope.  It is frustrating sometimes, though, because I really feel like if I said tomorrow "well, I don't want to deal with this anymore, let's stop" he'd just say "ok."  That's just who he is, but I'd like to know that he's emotionally invested in the idea of us being parents.  He's just not an emotional person.  And, by that I mean, he appears to be a robot and have no emotions.  OK, so that's probably not true, really.  But, seriously, I've never met anyone who reacts so analytically to everything.  This is good -- it balances out my crazy, overly-emotional response to, well, everything.  Sometimes, though, I'd like to see an inkling of "feelings."  I know he loves me and I know he'll be a great dad and love our children.  The one time we thought there was a possibility I might be pregnant, he did actually seem excited.  I was happy just to see that!  But, it's all part of who he is and I love him.

As for the 1ww -- it's not looking good.  I'm 11 DPIUI, my temp is heading down and I'm feeling hormonal (see previous post for evidence...).  AF is due Friday or Saturday.  The earliest I'd test is Sunday.  Still holding onto some hope for Spider-Embie, but it's kind of dwindling.