No heartbeat and a misshapen undersized sac. Most likely the baby died three weeks ago.
My body still thinks it's 11 1/2 weeks pregnant but my baby is dead.
My non-medicated miracle pregnancy is gone.
I cant seem to convince myself that it's true. I keep trying to figure out a way to say it that will make me believe it. It's funny that i never really believed I was pregnant but now i don't believe I'm not.
My OB gave us the options and thinks we should wait it out since my body is starting to miscarry on its own. I'm waiting for a call back from the RE to see what she thinks we should do. I'm not sure I can wait it out.
Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers. It helps so much that I don't feel alone.
I'm numb.
Oh honey, I'm so sorry!
ReplyDelete((hugs)) ((hugs)) ((hugs)).
Oh Rebecca, I am so very sorry. I was so hoping you'd have a different outcome. I had the same thing happen to me last September after my surprise, miracle natural BFP last July. Our baby also stopped growing at 8.5 weeks though we found out at 9 weeks, I know it must be even harder to have believed in your miracle for 2.5 extra weeks :(.
ReplyDeleteRemember, it still is a miracle. We are ladies who are long-time IFers who should never have gotten pg on our own, or so the doctors tell us. Your body knows something that the doctors do not and though it's hard to see now, you should have hope for the future. It took me 3 tries before one stuck for me, but against all odds, it finally worked and it will for you too, when you're ready.
I hope you can take some time and take care of yourself and that your little bean resolves quickly. I totally know what you mean about not being able to wait it out -- I had a D&E both times bc I couldn't deal with just waiting. Do whatever feels right to you, regardless of what the OB thinks, as long as it can be done safely.
Take care, hon.
Oh sweets, I'm so so very sorry! If I thought you were at all up for company I'd be in my car on the way to give you huge but very gentle hugs. Please reach out to me if there's anything at all I can do for you. Sending you so much love....
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. I was praying that I wouldn't see this.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking of you and sending you many hugs.
I am in shock as well for you Rebecca. I hate that you had to wait extra weeks not knowing, that must be very traumatizing. I am so so sorry you have to go through this after the miracle BFP. Which by the way is STILL a miracle. I wish you much peace in the coming days. You deserve better, and I wish there were good words. I am always hear to talk if you want to email me. Thinking of you...
ReplyDeleteJess
I am in shock. Total and complete shock. I am so sorry, Rebecca. I cannot imagine how devastated you are right now. I wish I could be there to give you a hug. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeletexo
I'm so incredibly sorry Rebecca!! Giant (((hugs))) to you! I'm here for anything you need!
ReplyDeleteI'm beyond sorry and sad to read your news. I wish there was something more I/we could do than type these little bits of support. Big huge amounts of love coming your way.
ReplyDeleteRebecca I am so terribly sorry. This makes me feel sick. I understand if you need to stop reading my blog but know that I will be thinking and praying for you and your family.
ReplyDeletei am so very sorry for your loss. thoughts and prayers for you and your husband.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry Rebecca. I'm so sad right now =(. You are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry! Big hugs to you and your husband.
ReplyDeleteNO, no, no. :-( I am so incredibly sorry, Rebecca. This is absolutely horrible and heartbreaking and unfair. I will be thinking of you - please let me know if you need anything at all. You can email me at ababy4al@gmail.com if you need to talk or vent.
ReplyDelete(((hugs)))
I am so sorry, Rebecca. I am thinking of you both and sending many, many, many (((hugs))) to you and your DH. I wish there was something more I could do for you....
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. I wish there were something more I could say. (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteAl sent me over here...I'm so sorry. I wish I could take away your pain :( {{huge hugs}}
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about your loss. Hugs to you and your husband -- it's devastating news.
ReplyDeleteI had a similar loss in early May -- went to my 9 week ultrasound after seeing the heartbeat at 6w3d and found out the embryo had stopped growing probably around week 7. We chose to do a D&C so we could have the embryo tissue tested for chromosonal abnormalities, to help us in future cycles. We were able to get a definitive answer, but not everyone does.
Oh my god. I'm so sorry. So so sorry.
ReplyDeletexoxo - you are not alone here Rebecca. You are not alone.
Got here from @ababy4al - even though I've never read your blog before, I just wanted to say that I'm so so sorry. :(
ReplyDeleteI am so so sorry. ((huge hugs)) You're in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteYour blog keeps me hopeful...and now I wish I could give that hope right back to you. I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteI am terribly sorry. This is just so unfair. Thinking of you and sending hugs across the internet.
ReplyDeleteF***!!! I'm so sorry honey {{{HUGS}}} Wish there was something I could say that would make this any better. My thoughts are with you...if there's anything I can do please don't hesitate to ask.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear that. You are in my thoughts.
ReplyDelete*hugs* *hugs*
Much love,
Ana
I am so sorry - this is so unfair.
ReplyDeleteOh, this breaks my heart. I am incredibly sorry.
ReplyDeleteI lost a "miracle"/natural baby last year and I know it hurts so, so much. And I know what you mean about feeling numb and not believing it's over (even though you were always skeptical it was).
I wish I could say something to make it better. Take care of yourself.
I'm so sorry - saw your comment on the Lushary. Been there, and it sucks. I wish there was something useful I could say...
ReplyDeleteComing over from the underwater bar, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's just dreadful :(
ReplyDeleteMy deepest Sympathy....Just know you are surrounded with support and in my thoughts...I have been down this road to many times and its not an easy path...time will heal the pain and keep fighting for what you want:) I will pray for inner peace and closure for you
ReplyDeleteI'm so, so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteMy heart is breaking reading this:(((
ReplyDeleteI can't possibly express how very sorry I am for your loss. My thoughts are with you and DH. This is just incredibly unfair:(
Sending you lot's of love.
OH NO!! this is terrible. im in shock, i wish i had something to say to make you feel better. just know that we are all here for you. im so sorry =(
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, I wish there was some way to make it better. =(
ReplyDelete-hugs- I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
I am so sorry... praying for you...
ReplyDeleteOh no. I am so sad to read about this. You must be absolutely heartbroken. I am sending you big hugs! Please keep us posted on how you are doing.
ReplyDeleteOh my God Rebecca I'm so so sorry, this is just terrible news and I wish I could hug you and give you some support. Much love, Fran
ReplyDeleteOh Rebecca, my heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry. I am sending you love and hugs.
ReplyDeleteI'm here for the first time from several friends' blogs. I am so, so sorry to hear about your Spider baby. I lost my baby at 7.5 weeks last November. Miscarriage is devastating and painful and overwhelming. You will heal in time, of course, but for me it has been a long, slow, and sometimes lonely process.
ReplyDeleteIf you ever want to talk feel free to e-mail me at parkslopepurgatory@gmail.com. I'll be keeping an eye on you from now on.
So sorry to hear of your loss. I know this is the hardest time. Please lean on those of us who have been there if you need anything.
ReplyDeleteOh Rebecca! =( My heart just sank into the bottom of my stomach when I read your post. I'm SO SO sorry sweetie! I can't think of anyone who deserves this heartache less than you do! Please know that you are in my thoughts!! Sending big hugs your way!
ReplyDelete