Wordful Wednesday

('Cause I'm incapable of being "wordless.")

Lots of random things:

• This afternoon I'm going to a memorial service for a colleague who died in a motorcycle accident last week.  He was my DH's age and the sweetest person you've ever met.  A big, burly rugby playing guy who ran the tutoring program on campus and cared greatly about students.  I help run a program for students coming to campus the summer before their freshman year to take science and math classes and we've been working with him all year to help set up our program for this summer.  It is just so incredibly sad.  I've felt on edge all weekend thinking about his loss.  I didn't know him outside of professional interactions, but those were always positive and inspiring.  I keep seeing pictures of him with his 3 year old son and it was obvious that he absolutely loved him more than life.  It just makes me very sad.
• Later tonight there is another memorial service on campus for a freshman who died over the weekend in another car accident.  This is just so sad.  I can't even imagine how hard this is for her family and friends.  
• It's getting to the point where I dread opening my e-mail for fear of another announcement about a death on campus. 
• Please, everyone out there, be careful.  The student wasn't wearing a seatbelt -- others in the car were and had only minor injuries.  Please be safe.  I really can't handle more of these announcements.  OK?
• My parents are coming into town tomorrow for the weekend.  Yesterday evening I returned my "closet" to "guest room" status.  (All my clothes are in the closet in the guest room and half of the time it looks like the room itself is my closet because the storage space is hard to access and I'm lazy.)  It will be nice to have them up here.  And, nice not to need to shoot up or have to drive to appointments while they're here.  (Yay for canceled cycles?)
• As happy as I am to see my family, their visit is stressing me out because I have to work most of the time and I have tons of things to do this weekend and I have no idea how I'm going to keep them entertained.  And, the rest of my house (except for the kitchen ☺) is still chaos that we're only slowly digging out from under after the kitchen repairs.  I'm hoping we can get some more done with it tonight before they get here.  Of course, I have a meeting from 8-9 tonight, so I have no idea how that's going to work out.
• I wasn't feeling the cyst at first, but today it's starting to hurt.  I was actually about to post a comment about how much the cysts I've gotten before hurt and how little this one did and how maybe having the fibroid out and having the small amount of endo out was helping that.  But, now it is noticeable.  It definitely hurts less, though.  Although, of course, this time I have one 4 cm cyst and the last time I had two at that size or larger on each ovary.  A slight difference.
• This PETA thing is making me so angry.  I've signed the petition and I'm trying to carefully word my own letter after reading wonderful ones by Keiko and Katie and others.  Sure, bring attention to overpopulation of animals and people.  I don't care about that.  Sure, give away a free vasectomy.  For many men, that's a responsible thing to do.  The campaign itself is fine.  But, to do it in "celebration" of a week to bring understanding about a disease?   I know PETA is all about "shock" but this isn't "shocking" it's mean spirited and designed to put blame for the ills of the world on the infertile population. WTF?
• Yesterday when I got my biweekly allergy shots, I was relieved to see that the nurse was finishing up the record sheet of my shots.  It's taken a year to get rid of this particular sheet.  At the top of it, in bold, with bright yellow highlighting it says "leave at ___ dose for the duration of her pregnancy" which is then crossed out and dated with "miscarriage" written next to it.  I see it every single time I go to the damn place.  Not to mention that the woman who usually gives me my shots was on maternity leave when I was pregnant after I watched her get more and more pregnant while I was having 9 months of failed treatment cycles.  Anyway, I'm glad to finally be moving on to a new page.  Definitely time for a fresh start.

Yeah, I'm just in a "yucky" place right now.  Everything feels just kind of sad and uncertain.  I'll snap out of it soon.  Just so much going on.