92 million sperm + 1500 E2 / 3-4 large follicles = 0 pregnancies

Once again, I'm not surprised because my body has been telling me for days that I wasn't pregnant.  My temperature dropped to a steady 97.6 degrees F which, it seems, is what it hits when the only progesterone being provided is coming from suppositories.  My breasts started to only hurt when I jabbed at them and they started to look normal again.  I started to get AF cramps.  A migraine kicked in two days ago and hasn't let up.  And, I started to feel anxious, unsettled, uncertain, stressed, angry, irritable (don't even *think* of touching me when I'm waiting for AF to show up), etc.

All this told me that testing this morning was silly.  As did the small spot on the pad when I woke up.  But, as assigned by the nurse, test I did.  And, before it was even time to look in the window on the stick, AF had shown up in full force.

I don't know.  I've been miserable and depressed for days and so now I'm just kind of "meh."  Which, I think I say a lot when AF shows up.  My worse hormone-induced emotions seem to hit in the PMS time and are eased a little by the time AF actually appears.  Last night I cried to my DH for 20 minutes and he held me.  Yesterday I ranted and raved about every person and thing I could think of.  I'm still depressed and sad and I still feel like crap (initially I typed "cramp") and am clinging to heating pads and ibuprofen, but I think I'm starting to feel ambivalent at the end of these cycles.

I'm not sure what happens next.  My baseline scan in scheduled for Friday morning.  I have a sneaking suspicion that I will have some "leftovers" and be canceled again.  Maybe not, but it just seems like there were a lot of "extra" follies hanging around when it was time to trigger and my body tends to like to keep some of those.  And, my ovaries still feel tender.  (I look back fondly on the time when I couldn't identify where my ovaries were.)  If I'm wrong then we'll start again and probably use a similar protocol.  If I'm right then we're planning on using the month "off" to have a meeting with Dr. Smiles and ask him where he thinks we should go next.  I recognize that even under perfect conditions there's maybe a 20 % chance that any given cycle will work.  But, seriously?  With the numbers that we've put up consistently and especially this cycle?  If IUI isn't working at this point it just doesn't feel like it will.


Thanks all, again, for your support this cycle!