Things are a'brewin'

Thank you to all for your comments on my previous post. It felt like a giant virtual hug and I needed that. It's strange how the grief can come back so suddenly.  Most of the time I'm really fine but reminder dates are definitely tough to deal with. 


I once heard grief described as a spiral and the image has stayed with me for a long time.  When you're close to the event, you cycle through sadness frequently.  As time goes on, there are longer pauses between the "bad" times and the sadness isn't always as intense.  But, we really can't just expect it to go away.

Yesterday's scan was good.  Several decent-sized follies starting on both sides -- and boy can I feel them already.  Yeesh.  My E2 was 140-something.  148?  142?  I missed that last part.  Anyway, after 3 days at 150 IU, I was essentially where I was last cycle after 4 days at 100 IU.  So, that's a good thing.  So, I'm still at 150 IU and I go back Saturday morning.  

It's funny, I have now officially managed to interact with Dr. Smiles more times in the 5 months or so that I've been going to him (keeping in mind that three of those months were "off") than I ever interacted with Dr. Six over the course of a year.  He's just "around" when you're at the office.  And, if he sees you, he asks how things are going, puts his hand on your shoulder and asks how you're feeling.  When the nurse tells him what's going on, he then comes to find you and asks you about it.  It's crazy.  It's just a minute or less, usually, but it makes a huge difference in feeling like someone is paying attention to me.  Whether he remembers who I am or not really isn't the point -- he at least realizes that patients appreciate him making the effort!  And, of course, the nurses are awesome, too.  The whole place seems geared toward feeling like everyone cares.  I'm not saying they didn't care at Dr. Six's office.  But, it just didn't feel as "homey."

Hope everyone has a good weekend.