Monday, October 17, 2011

Nervous

Thank you, ladies, so much for the outpouring of congratulations.  I can't tell you how much it means to me.

I tested again today and it was still positive.  And, the line is darker, I think.

But...

I also started to spot this morning.  Red spotting mixed in with the remnants of the progesterone suppositories.

And, I'm feeling crampy -- and not the same as OHSS crampy (which is still there).  AF-like crampy.

I *know* spotting can mean nothing.  I know several women who have spotted and/or bled quite a bit at the beginning of a pregnancy and gone on to have healthy pregnancies.

But, it doesn't make me any less nervous.

Not much I can do, now, but wait until tomorrow and see what happens.

I'm just a little scared.  I feel like I jinxed myself.
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28 comments:

  1. AnonymousOctober 17, 2011 at 7:48 AM

    giant (((HUGS)))!!! You definitely did not jinx yourself, but I know that feeling of being terrified. I'd tell you to try & relax, but that would just be stupid, so for now just take it easy until tomorrow. You have a nice, strong line there! Sending all the sticky bean vibes I have in the world!!!!!

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  2. Janet Off KilterOctober 17, 2011 at 8:47 AM

    Sending you lots of sticky vibes your way!! Try your best to relax - I know...easier said than done - we are all rooting for you! ((HUGS))

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  3. A m a n d aOctober 17, 2011 at 8:50 AM

    You didn't jinx yourself. I'm sure it's just some cervical irritation from the supps. I can't wait for you to get your numbers tomorrow so it can ease your mind. This is going to be ok, I truly believe that. Hang in there xo

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  4. OakOctober 17, 2011 at 9:06 AM

    I read your post yesterday in the airport and was so beyond pumped! Unfortunately I couldn't comment. I can only imagine how scary spotting can be but I'm sure you're just fine! With both (weird) of my pregnancies I've had cramps so I never even thought I was pregnant. That's way too strong of a second line to wonder! :) I'm so happy for you.

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  5. AnonymousOctober 17, 2011 at 9:17 AM

    I hope the spotting is nothing!! Just try to breathe. (((HUGS)))

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  6. MichelleOctober 17, 2011 at 9:28 AM

    You're right spotting and bleeding can mean any number of things. But, you know what? My doctor told me I could worry or relax all I want and it wouldn't make one bit of difference, so worry or relax. :) I'm sending some positive vibes your way. I can't wait to hear your results tomorrow. Good luck!

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  7. JaclynOctober 17, 2011 at 9:43 AM

    I really don't mean to alarm you with this comment - I spotted every single day for 6 weeks and had a healthy baby boy, and many people have bleeding in the first trimester. But spotting can also be a sign of an ectopic pregnancy, so you should get an ultrasound to confirm that the pregnancy is in your uterus if you have not had an ultrasound yet.

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  8. RDOctober 17, 2011 at 9:55 AM

    You did not jinx yourself! I know it's so scary but like other poeple have said, spotting can mean nothing. I spotted for a week with Grace. I have everything crossed for a super high beta tomorrow and a super sticky little bean in there! ((hugs))

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  9. MotleymommyOctober 17, 2011 at 10:08 AM

    It is scary - never gets easier when you are worried. After my MC last March I got surprise pregnant with my son in April, I spotted at 7 weeks, a lot, then again at 11 weeks. After exams, the only explanation they could give me was there is a lot going on down there and that sometimes the strain will cause breakthrough bleeding. Sending lots of warm hug-gy (sticky tick) thoughts. Be good and gentle with yourself today and tomorrow whatever the outcome - we are here for you.

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  10. AnonymousOctober 17, 2011 at 10:16 AM

    Oh no, that must be scary. Good thing your beta test is tomorrow, my fingers are crossed for a high number!

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  11. someday-soonOctober 17, 2011 at 11:12 AM

    My HPTs only got darker every 2-3 days and yours is already super dark so don't try to judge by that. Implantation is a process that takes weeks so it's not unusual to get some implantation spotting during that time. Plus 1T bleeding is super common, especially in twin pregnancies. I was crampy from 4-6 and it felt exactly like a bad AF. That's just a bean (or two) snuggling in is my vote. I know it's so hard right now...but try to Keep the faith =)

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  12. AnonymousOctober 17, 2011 at 11:29 AM

    Okay, here's what I can tell you; do what you want with the info:

    1) The day after my first positive HPT, I took a second one and the line was lighter. It freaked my s*it out. 19+ weeks later, the kid is still in there.

    2) Spotting is scary as hell. I had a gush of red bleeding at 8w. The doctor had me take it easy for a couple weeks after that and things calmed down, though I did still have periodic brown spotting. Again, 15 weeks later, she's still kickin'--now literally!

    I'm sorry for any worry you're experiencing; it all sucks.

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  13. KellyOctober 17, 2011 at 11:56 AM

    Spotting is scary so I'm sorry you have to get it, but it's normal and nearly every mom has a story about how they spotted too.

    Also, I've heard from SEVERAL twin or more mommas that they spotted and cramped like crazy. ;)

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  14. BridgitOctober 17, 2011 at 12:01 PM

    I was SO excited when I read about your BFP yesterday. I was on my phone and could not comment.

    Spotting sucks. It's scary and makes you question everything. I spotted early on and I have two boys that are 7 months old now.

    IVF patients have a higher incidence of spotting as well. Not to mention the cervical irritation from the progesterone.

    And the cramping - I cramped for the first 13 weeks of my pregnancy. It's just your embie(s) snuggling in tight!

    Can't wait to hear your great beta tomorrow!

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  15. KristinOctober 17, 2011 at 12:30 PM

    Just had to chime in that I, too, had spotting on and off with this pregnancy from about 6-9 weeks and now at 17 weeks, everything is looking great! I was told it was probably from the progesterone suppositories irritating the cervix. Bets of luck for tomorrow!!

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  16. ALOctober 17, 2011 at 1:05 PM

    I know how incredibly scary this can be, holding my breath that the spotting stops. you don't need this extra worry and stress.

    Things are okay, this little one is going to be ok. xoxo

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  17. winter blueOctober 17, 2011 at 1:45 PM

    I don't have any advice. But I am wishing you very good luck...

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  18. infertile-thoughtsOctober 17, 2011 at 2:20 PM

    Sending positive thoughts your way! I know what an exciting/anxiety ridden time this is and relaxing is really hard. Try and take it easy and put your feet up for a while. It can't hurt!

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  19. ChonOctober 17, 2011 at 3:33 PM

    Just sending you lots of hugs and support xoxo

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  20. KOctober 17, 2011 at 3:35 PM

    my RE said that spotting occurs in 40% of pregnancies and although it is scary to see, its often nothing to be worried about.

    i can't wait to see the beta :)

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  21. DawnOctober 17, 2011 at 4:14 PM

    You DID NOT jinx yourself! I agree with a PP that your cervix could be irritated from the suppositories. I spotted towards the end of my first tri and I remember how scared I was, but it is very normal. Saying loads of prayers for you!

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  22. JenOctober 17, 2011 at 6:37 PM

    Thinking of you and hoping you have a great beta!

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  23. AmiriniOctober 17, 2011 at 6:55 PM

    Hold in there! You are one day ahead of me and at 7DP5DT i received my BFP too!!! Hang in there!

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  24. threelittlekilosOctober 17, 2011 at 6:56 PM

    i understand how scared you are -- after i got my bfp test i spotted for a couple of days and i almost lost the plot. but then it stopped and everything was okay (but then of course i had to religiously check my undies every time i went to the toilet right through the whole pregnancy)

    i also had AF type cramps...hopefully it just means that your bubba(s) are burrowing in tightly and your uterus is taking on its new role.

    thinking of you and sending you positive wishes for a great beta tomorrow. *big hugs*

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  25. jill's infertility documentOctober 17, 2011 at 7:59 PM

    Oh I am behind and missed your posts! I have been thinking of you and after reading this I am going to continue to think of you. And hope for the very best. I just want you to know that I am pulling for you. So hard.

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  26. AnonymousOctober 17, 2011 at 8:22 PM

    keep that head up....you are so right. spotting and cramping can be just as indicative of pregnancy as it can AF. Hugs hun.

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  27. Mel.October 17, 2011 at 9:51 PM

    First of all - CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Secondly, I had a bit of spotting in the beginning with Lily too, hopefully your beans are just snuggling in super tight! I'm sending you tons of sticky vibes and love.

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  28. DandelionBreezeOctober 18, 2011 at 12:23 AM

    You certainly didn't jinx yourself... and, from what I have read, spotting is very common with progesterone. I know that doesn't make it any easier when you're going through it. Keeping my FXd for you and your bubs... sending you lots of love from afar xoxo

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