Trying not to scream: Jealousy

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Jealousy

First of all -- I love all of my IF friends who are pregnant and am so happy for all of you who are pregnant with twins! But... every time I find out that someone is pregnant with twins my jealousy takes one specific form for a moment: one of those was supposed to be mine!!! I'm picturing some cosmic waiting room somewhere and two babies went down a chute to one mom when one of them was supposed to go to me. Is this just me?

5 comments:

AnonymousFebruary 14, 2010 at 9:28 PM
It's definitely not just you!!!

Sorry I haven't been able to follow blogs this week - the Keys have awful internet access! All of my fellow IF sisters have been on my mind though!

Giant (((HUGS))) for your kitty!!! & woo hoo! for another med cycle!!
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AnonymousFebruary 15, 2010 at 8:38 AM
It's not just you. I promise.

(((hugs)))
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RDFebruary 16, 2010 at 6:03 AM
Huge ((HUGS))!!
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erikaFebruary 16, 2010 at 8:35 AM
Life is being incredibly unfair at times. And it is 1000% true when it comes to the subject of fertility-infertility.
(((HUGS)))
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AnonymousFebruary 21, 2010 at 1:54 PM
It's not just you. I find my reading list is getting filled with pregnant women, many expecting twins.
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Our TTC history

Rebecca (37) and Clay (41)
TTC #1 since 10-08

Current status:
IVF#1 -- Antagonist protocol with ICSI

9/3 -- Start BCP
9/9 -- SHG and Mock transfer -- all good
9/12 -- SA shows low morphology and HOST score -- ICSI recommended
9/18 -- Last BCP, start doxycycline, wait for AF
9/19 -- Appointment with embryologist
9/21 -- AF is here!
9/22 -- baseline scan excellent -- 225 IU Follistim per day begins!
9/26 -- Nice "team" of follies on each side. One at 10 mm. E2 246. Lining 5.6 mm. Continue 225 IU Follistim.
9/28 -- Team is looking good -- many are up around 10 mm or so. E2 667. Lining 7.3-ish. Continue 225 IU Follistim. 9/28 only -- add 1 dose Ganirelix.
9/30 -- Team is pretty good, still -- two up around 18 or 20 mm with a few more at 15 and others at 12-ish. E2 1446. Progesterone 0.3. Lining 8-9 ish. 3 vials menopur and one dose Ganirelix for the next two nights

10/2 -- HCG Trigger

10/4 -- Retrieval -- 19 eggs, 14 mature, 4 "almost"

(on endometrin and baby aspirin post retrieval)

10/5 -- Fert report -- 15 ICSI'd -- 5 fertilized normally, 9 tripronuclear (3PN) abnormal fertilization
10/6 -- 2 4-cell, 1 5-cell (looking great); 1 6-cell (looking a little uneven); 1 2-cell (poor slow embie)
10/7 -- 4 8-cell (3 grade I (best), 1 grade II), 1 3-cell, 5-day transfer it is!

10/9 -- Transfer of a Grade I early blast and Grade I/II expanded blast (starting to hatch)!

10/10 -- One expanded blast put on ice!

10/16 -- OHSS symptoms lead me to cheat and POAS -- BFP!!

10/18 -- 9dp5dt beta 233!
10/18 -- 11dp5dt beta 606!

11/1/11 -- 6w0d -- two gestational sacs and two yolk sacs!!

11/4/11 -- 6w3d -- after lots of bleeding and cramps, a scan shows two heartbeats!
11/11/11 -- 7w3d -- after even more heavy bleeding and cramps, a scan shows two healthy heartbeats and a large subchorionic hematoma (SCH) as well as continued moderate/severe OHSS
11/29 -- 10w0d -- graduation day! Everybody is healthy! No more endometrin!
12/06 -- 11w0d -- First MFM appointment -- all is great
12/12 -- 11w6d -- First OB appointment -- measuring 12w0d and 12w3d
12/19 -- 12w6d -- NT scan -- results excellent; measuring 12w6d and 13w3d

01/04 -- 15w1d -- Heartbeats both at 144. Lots of blood drawn -- Vitamin D low, homozygous for MTFHR A1298C

01/18 -- 17w1d -- Babies look great. Baby A is a boy! Baby B wants to keep the secret a bit longer.

01/30 -- 18w6d -- Baby B is a boy, too!

Want the details? See Our TTC History.

Want to join me in obsessing over my cycle? See My Fertility Friend page.

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Sunday, February 14, 2010

Jealousy

5 comments: