My RE's office doesn't seem to "get it"

First of all -- thank you so much to all of you.  I can't tell you how much it means to me to know I'm not alone and to feel your support.  I'm holding on at the moment.  I'm still waiting to get a referral from my RE's office.  They finally called back Tuesday afternoon only to ask me why I called in the morning (when I'd left a specific message with the receptionist).  The nurse (a new one I'd never met) said that the person they used to refer to has moved, so she's going to get back to me.  And then...a resounding silence. Nothing the rest of Tuesday.  Nothing Wednesday. Still nothing today.  You would think that they would realize that when someone has reached out for help emotionally it probably took a lot of effort and they may actually need some help.  You know, sometime in the near future?  I'll call again shortly.  Maybe if I actually burst into tears while I'm on the phone that will help.  Probably not.

Honestly, I think this may be the last straw with my RE's office.  I really don't think they take me or my case seriously.  There's the whole "see you in six months" phone message from the nurse.  The back-and-forth decisions my RE has made -- "if you do IVF, you don't need a lap, a hysterscopy will do"...three months later "if you don't get the lap, I'm not willing to do IVF."  Then "your FSH level of 12 is a concern but no big deal (after I forced her to test it), you should just try on your own after the hysteroscopy"...three months and three IUIs later after I asked if the six Femara-IUIs she keeps insisting on were really necessary before moving on and that I was worried about what my higher FSH level mean "I'm concerned about that, too, that's why I want to be aggressive."  Really?  Telling me that you go with the slowest steps and try everything six times is aggressive? Then, after one more cycle and the natural BFP and the m/c "yeah, I'm sure everything is fine, just try on your own."

The office was great during the m/c.  But they really have done nothing to allay my fears that there is something wrong that caused it and not just bad luck.  I know it is most likely nothing big.  I'm 35, these things are more likely to happen.  But, I'd really like to at least be offered the chance to look into it.  It would be one thing if it was easy for me to get pregnant or if I was younger.  But, I'm picturing trying for another 20 months and having a similar loss and then being told "oh, yeah, all you needed was baby aspirin but, oops, now you're 37 and your FSH is through the roof -- oops, sorry!"  I feel like they haven't really been paying attention.  Is it too much to ask that you look at my file before you talk to me on the phone? 

Oh, and I don't think I've mentioned this but I haven't actually spoken to or seen my RE since April 2nd after AF showed up after my fourth IUI. And, the only reason I spoke to her then is because I kept calling in a panicked state about the timing for my next cycle and the nurses finally let me through.  And, I think that may have been the sixth time I'd ever spoken to or seen her in 10 months or so or treatments -- including the two IUIs she performed.  I never saw her or spoke to her when I found out I was pregnant at the end of April. Apparently my nurses were talking to her because they relayed that she was "concerned" about my second beta and wanted a third.  I heard through the nurses that everything was fine with the u/s at 7 weeks (although I'm sure, now, she'd say that she was "concerned" since that's what she does after the fact).  I never saw her or heard from her during or after the m/c.  She was away so I dealt with a different RE (who was wonderful through all of it).  And, afterward, I just got relayed info from the nurses that she wanted to check my beta levels until they were negative and didn't want to test anything else.  And then, of course, see you in 6 months.

And, I do understand that doctors are busy and I'm one of hundreds of patients and that's what the nurses are for.  But, I would also like to think that she cared a little more about what was happening with me and would at least reach out and say "I'm sorry you lost your baby" or something.

So, yeah, this lack of concern about my mental health really doesn't surprise me. But, hey, it's getting me back to anger instead of depression which, oddly, feels better.

Meanwhile, I took Alex's recommendation and have found a few options of people on my insurance website who have IF listed as one of their specialties (thanks, Alex!).  So, I will start calling them soon if I don't hear back from my RE's office.

(Sorry for the atrocious grammar and loads o' parentheses in this post.  My brain is a little on the scattered side today.)

ETA:  I just got off the phone with the receptionist.  "Oh, yeah, I talked to the doctor and she said she didn't know anyone, I guess I didn't know we were supposed to call you back.  Let me look up a phone number for an adult psychologist in town -- here's the number for the one I just found on-line.  I don't know anything about them."  REALLY?  Do you people seriously have NO IDEA of the mental strain that comes along with IF?  REALLY?  This can't be the first time anyone has ever asked you this question.  Wow.  You people suck.